Somehow today is 12/13 and in less than 2 days, you will be 1 month old. I don't know where or how time has flown by so quickly, but it scares and excites me all the same. There are so many things I hope I never forget, so many beautiful memories that have been created, and even more moments that I wish I could just relive over and over.
It's currently 8:33pm, and you're knocked out asleep in my lap. You tend to do this - when you have days that you can't seem to sleep, you settle best in mama's lap. It's soothing for you, no matter how much I move around, no matter what I'm doing, you just stay soundly asleep here. I tried to put you down earlier, but today has been a fussy day, so you haven't had much steady or consistent rest. So you're here - which means I haven't pumped in a few hours and I've eaten nothing but granola - but I'll be sad the day you no longer need me, so here I'll stay. I love how cuddly and comforting this is for you, esp. as you nozzle closer and closer to me the deeper you fall into sleep.
I have so many photos that I need to get printed, so many memories that I want to write down, so many firsts with you that I don't want to ever lose. I make all of these to-do lists everyday and barely half of them ever get done. It's amazing how busy I am everyday watching you, yet I literally do nothing all the same. I always daydream about taking gorgeous and styled photos of you, but I never do them, instead I lay around and stare at you all day long, lol. You are everything I've always wanted and yet nothing I ever imagined, in all the best ways.
I love being your mama, and I can't believe in 2 days you will have been here with me for 30 days already. I couldn't love you more, I couldn't be more proud of you, and I never knew that being so tired could also mean being so happy.
I love you so much, baby boy. <3